I can’t stand this feeling. No matter what I do, I can’t run fast or far enough. I’m starting to accept the karma of never feeling good enough. But acceptance doesn’t make ease the pain. Being selfish is what put me in this hole, and it is what will ultimately bury me. The end won’t stop my suffering, karma has shown me to know better, but it’s all the strength I have left. I’m desperate for the empty calm. This sickness has taken everything else from me, so let me give it what has yet have and maybe then I might know peace.
and i think about biting a bullet twice a day.
chris haslam? is that you?